I’m 6 years old and playing with my friends in the swimming pool. It’s a joint birthday party for two of the kids in my class. My friend and I decide we’ll race to the other side. Neither of us can swim. As I get towards the deep end I begin to struggle. I try to scream but I keep swallowing water. I’m under water and can see two old ladies sitting in my eye line. I try to claw my way to the surface. I’m trying to get their attention. Can't they see me? Can't they hear me? They smile and wave back. I go from frustrated, to disappointed, and then surrender.
Luckily I was fine, but I often think about that scene and have realised depression (for me at least) is a lot like that incident. From my perspective I’m drowning - trying to stay afloat, trying to survive. But those around me seem to think I’m having a great time. They smile and wave back.
How many times have we heard people express shock when a celebrity like Robin Williams dies from depression? How many times have people dismissed our pain because we supposedly hold ourselves so well together? Kind, smiley people can be suicidal too.
Anyone can have depression and it manifests in a number of ways. If you can’t get out of bed, they’ll tell you to pull yourself together and cheer up. If you’re smiling and smashing it at work, they'll refuse to accept there’s anything wrong.
Although we’ve made strides in acknowledging that mental health is important, we’ve still got some way to go in educating ourselves and removing stigma. More than that, we need to advocate for access and resources so that we can actually get help. I'm sick of people posting about how you should talk to someone when you feel depressed or suicidal! What if you have no one to talk to? What if you tell your friends and family you're suicidal and they have no skills to help you? Of course we should look out for each other but we have to stop putting the onus on individuals, and point fingers at a society and a government that have left millions of people drowning.